You, My Everything
by spencergaystings
Summary: He knew a girl once, and she was the happiest girl he's ever met.
1. Chapter 1

i. He's drunk. That was the first thing he could tell about himself for sure in that moment. The second? He was miserable. He was sure his hair was all over, that his eyes were swollen and red. He was sure his clothes were dirty and messy, and that his shoes weren't helping him as he stumbled across the sandy ground of the beach.

He didn't know what he was doing at the beach at this time of the night, especially in this state. When did his life get so messed up?

His eyes travel towards the ocean, the dark sky blending in with the water, the moon up and clear in the sky, lighting the beach partially.

A movement to his right caught his attention and he found himself staring at a pale woman with long brown locks. The girl wore a white sundress and her hair clipped on the back, tying two locks of brown hair together. The moon reflected on her pale skin and made it glow, giving her an almost angelic look. He could see only one side of her face as she stared straight ahead, a lazy smile on her face. He was hypnotized. She was beautiful.

He didn't notice but as the time passed he took step after step in her direction, only realizing what he was doing when he could hear her softly humming something to herself.

As if she had sensed him, she turned around and smiled curiously at him. "Hello," she greeted, her eyes twinkling in a happiness he's never seen in one's eyes before. A sense of comfort washed over him at the sound of her voice. He couldn't bring himself to greet her back, for his thoughts were too messed up and the alcohol he had consumed started to wear him out, leaving him staring tiredly and in awe. She chuckled and asked, "What are you doing here so late at night?"

He arched an eyebrow, finally getting back some of his senses. "I could ask you the same."

She chuckled again and then suddenly stopped, finally noticing his appearance and his eyes. She gave him a concerned look. "Are you okay?"

He hesitated. He honestly didn't know if he wanted to be honest. She was a stranger, after all. No matter how much his heart told him otherwise, he couldn't just tell a stranger who he doesn't even know the name of all about his life. So he just nodded and replied in a smooth, calm voice: "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Then why were you crying?" She replied, an amused smirk appearing on her pale face. He looked away, not quite knowing what to answer.

He finally settled for another question. "What's your name?"

The girl chuckled and shook her head. "It's getting late, I should probably go."

Before he knew it, she was walking away from him and he didn't know why but he just _had _to know her name.

"Seriously, aren't you gonna tell me your name?" he called out. She turned around and smiled.

"I don't see why that's so important. It's just a name. I don't know yours either. Would you tell me your name?" She asked, arching a challenging eyebrow at him. He hesitated again.

Shaking his head, he watching as she chuckled and looked down, before looking at him with that same amused sparkle in her eyes. "That's what I thought."

Offering him one last smile, she turned to walk away. "Bye stranger. It was nice having this talk."  
He stared at her back as she walked away and disappeared in the dark night. He wasn't sure why he was still there, but he couldn't bring himself to move. As the minutes passed, he became more aware of his surroundings and shook his head, turning and starting to make his way back to his car.

That was the first time they met.

ii. He's tired. That's what he gets from staying up all night for the third time in that week, the third time he's spent at the beach waiting for _her. _

He doesn't know why he did that. He doesn't know if she's from L.A. or if she was just visiting, he doesn't know a thing about the girl, hell, he doesn't even know her _name. _He shakes his head in frustration at his own stupidity as he makes his way towards the café he frequents regularly. He couldn't help it, though. The girl wouldn't just stop popping up at his every thought.

As he entered the café, he stopped dead in his tracks at the sight before him.

Sitting in one of the tables in the middle of the café, there she was, a coffee mug sitting on the table as she scribbled something down on her notebook. He didn't know how long he stood there watching her like the big loser he was, but he knew it must have been a long time since an elderly couple that sat on a table near by looked at him in concern and asked if he was okay. Nodding and offering them a smile, he walked towards her table and stood there, unsure of what to do. Upon the light being blocked, she looked up, grinning when she saw who it was.

"Hey, stranger." He offered her a smile back and she motioned to the seat in front of her. When he sat down, she crossed her arms on the table and leaned towards him. Giving him a smirk, she teased.

"Are you stalking me?"

His eyes widened and he choked on air. "What? No! I was just about to grab some coffee." He quickly explained, making her chuckle.

"Are you sure? You're just here for the coffee?" she asked, a glint in her eyes.

"I swear, just the coffee. Nothing else." She grinned at him and he couldn't help but grin back, his heart hammering in his chest.

"I was just teasing you." She winked, as if he didn't know it already. He shook his head and looked at her with amusement all over his face.

Their eyes locked and they couldn't look away, almost in a trance. He noticed her eyes were always sparkling, as if she was always happy. Her brown eyes hid some depth within them, he noticed. As if she had experienced things he couldn't even imagine.

She grinned at him, "You have pretty eyes." She complimented, making him blush. Sure, he's heard that since he was a child, but he's never felt more flattered upon hearing this comment from her, when her own eyes were so beautiful. So he told her that.

"Thank you," she blushed. Looking up from under her long lashes, she asked. "Been doing a lot of late night walks at the beach lately?"

He wasn't about to tell her that yes, he had gone often to the beach late at night and stood at the very spot they had stood a few nights ago, waiting to see if she'd appear. So he shook his head. "Nope. What about you?" he asked, just to make conversation. He knew for a fact that she hadn't.

She shook her head, a few locks flying across her face. She put them behind her ear and smiled at him. "That was an one-time thing. I don't normally leave my house and 1am to go to the beach. And you shouldn't either!" she added. He arched an eyebrow curiously.

She leaned over and said, "I mean, who knows what kind of creeps that could be lurking in the shadows?" she winked and he chuckled.

"You mean creeps like you?" he asked and she laughed, leaning back on her chair.

"Yes, creeps like me. I'm a nice creep, though."

He nodded. "So you promise you're not a murderer or a rapist?"

She grinned, showing her pearly white teeth. "I promise I've never killed or raped anyone. And I don't plan to!" He laughed. Before he could reply, a waiter stopped by their table to get the orders and before he could voice his order, she had already beaten him to it.

"I want a cappuccino this time, and he wants coffee. Nothing else." She winked at him and he found himself smiling at her in amusement. He was sure he's never laughed or smiled this much during a simple conversation.

"So, stranger…" she started when the waiter left their table, "when will I get to know your name?"

He looked down at the table deep in thought. The last time he had asked her that, she had turned him down and left him wondering. Of course, he had returned the favor, but now he wondered if he should just end the secret and tell her.

_But what would be the fun in that?, _a voice in his head argued. He shook his head and looked up at her. "I'm not sure if I want to tell you." He answered, smiling slightly at the long sigh she let out.

The waiter had returned with their orders and he nodded at him in appreciation and she gave him a small smile. He watched as she put the notebook she had neglected as soon as he arrived inside her bag and sipped her drink.

"Do you write?" he asked, and when she looked up at him curiously, he motioned to her bag. Realizing what he meant, she shrugged.

"I guess. I write more for myself, though. Just something I do to keep me from going crazy."

He nodded, understanding. He could share the sentiment. She smiled and shook her head at him, before sipping her hot drink. "Do you refuse to tell everyone your name or is that just with me?" He asked, making her giggle.

"No, that's a special thing between us. Don't you like it?"

He shrugged, sipping his coffee before answering. "Makes you mysterious and interesting, I think." When she grinned, he added, "You're not hiding anything big, right? Something I should know? Besides your name, I mean." He was teasing her and she knew it, but her eyes fulfilled with an old sadness and her smile faltered just a bit, but in a matter of seconds the big smile was back into place as well as the spark. That was the sign he _should _have noticed, but because of her quickness to recover and her smile and just _her,_ he didn't.

She grinned at him, "I already told you, I'm neither a rapist nor a killer!" he laughed and shook his head.

"Okay, I believe you."

After that, they fell into easy conversation about some of their likes and dislikes, but kept it superficial, nothing too personal. After a few minutes in which she finished her coffee, she questioned him again, fiddling with her bag.

"May I know your name now?"

He looked at her for a moment, sipped his still half-filled mug and shrugged. "Sure, why not?"

He watched as she looked up from her wallet and stared at him in curiosity.

"My name is Toby Cavanaugh." He said. She smiled widely and nodded, motioning for the waiter to come over and leaving a few dollar bills on the table.

"No, wait. I got it." Toby protested as the waiter came closer.

She rolled her eyes and stood up, grinning. "Don't worry." She motioned for the waiter to take the money and smiled down at him. "Bye, Toby."

Honestly, it all happened so fast that Toby was still processing what happened, and when he finally realized she was leaving, she was at the door. "Hey, won't you tell me your name?" he called after her. A few people looked between them curiously but he ignored them. She stopped and looked over her shoulder, a little smile playing in the corner of her cherry red lips. She winked at him and waved, opening the door and leaving.

Toby stood up, grabbing his wallet and throwing a 10 dollar bill on the table and calling the waiter who had watched the entire scene with a small curious smile. "Keep the change." He said, not caring that he still hadn't finished his coffee.

He did the only thing he could think of doing.

He ran after her.

iii. As soon as he left the place, he looked around the street to spot her on the sidewalk, straight ahead.

"Hey! Wait up!" he called out, attracting a few looks from people passing by. She turned around, frowning. He ran in her direction before she could turn away again and leave. When he was close to her, he let out his frustration. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

She frowned again. "Walking? Why?"

Toby rolled his eyes, "I mean before. Why didn't you tell me your name?"

She grinned and shrugged, "Because you got to earn it."

He stared at her. "I got to _earn_ it? Are you serious?"

She nodded.

He pondered that for a moment. "How?"

She smiled. "Take a walk with me."

She started walking, leaving him an opening. He could follow her and "earn" it, or he could just walk away.

Had it been anyone else, Toby would just walk away and never look back. But it wasn't anyone else. _It was her._ So he sighed and followed, falling into easy rhythm with her. She smiled at him and he smiled back.

"So what's the catch?"

The brunette turned her head towards Toby as they continued our stroll down the street. A confused smile was sent his way, her eyebrows creasing – even if he hates himself for using that word – adorably. "What? There is no catch."

"Oh, okay. How many miles do I have to walk then for you to tell me your name?"

She laughed. "We'll see. I just want to talk to you for a little bit."

"Ah! So there _is_ a catch."

"No! That's not a catch! Did you think I just want to walk with you and stay quiet the entire time? Having a conversation is included."

He rolled his eyes but smiled nonetheless. "Okay. Well, what do you want to talk about?"

"Hm, what do you do for a living?"

"I sing." He said, looking at her nervously. He was waiting for her to laugh at him or give him a pitiful look, or even turn away and leave him, but she, once again, surprised him with a wide, excited smile.

"Do you really? That's awesome!" she exclaimed. He smiled at her and shrugged.

"I have some gigs here and there, my best friend is actually my manager. We're trying for recording studios and stuff, but it's hard considering this is L.A. and pretty much everyone has the same goal."

She nodded, understanding. "I'm actually really into arts. I might major in something of the sort next year in college, but I'm not sure on what I want to major in. I'm thinking visual arts. I really like writing scripts and things of the sort." Then, with a grin, she looked at him, "I'm excited to start college."

He grinned back at her, "As I am about getting a contract."

She looked at him thoughtfully, a sparkle in her eyes. "So, if you end up successful and I do too, and let's say, you and I get slightly famous and someone asks me about you, I'll tell them I met you at a beach in the middle of the night." She then chuckled, "I'll be proud of you!"

He chuckled at her excitement and shook his head.

"You're insane."

"But a good insane, right?" she asked, the grin never leaving her face.

"Yeah, a good insane." He agreed, softly. She beamed at him.

As the time passed and details of their lives were shared, Toby fell more and more for her as he noticed the little things about her. Her laugh, her smile, her eyes, the way she was always cheery and positive about everything, even her sarcasm was endearing.

He nodded along as she talked about her family; she had an older sister whom she got along with and her parents were caring and she spoke highly of them. She explained how their relationship hadn't always been great, but a few years back when something had happened to the family – she didn't tell him what it was, but her eyes were dark and gone was the spark in them as she told him about it. Another sign he should have noticed – and it brought them closer.

Toby told her about his life, about his divorced parents and his little stepsister, Jenna. He even showed her a pic of the 9 year old girl on his phone. She cooed and smiled at the cute little girl. He told her about his difficult relationship with his father, and told him about his beloved mother.

Then, they went over about their likes and dislikes, but this time, in a more personal depth. And then, somehow, their conversation turned on about his friends, and she laughed at his friends' antics.

"Wait," she breathed, "She _actually_ wears forks as earrings? And the other one steals moisturizer? Really?"

Toby nodded, laughing along. "I don't have normal friends."

She smiled, "But you have them."

"Yeah, I do." He chuckled.

Before he could ask her about her friends, she turned to him with a cute little frown on her face – and he would never admit to ever using cute to describe someone – and said, "It's getting late. I should go home."

Toby nodded, turning around with her. "I'll walk you to your car."

She shook her head, an adorable grin on her face. "You don't need to. I'll call my sister and ask her to pick me up. I'm not with my car today."

He nodded, deflating. They both could feel each other's disappointment at having to say goodbye.

"It was really nice talking to you." She said, finally. Toby nodded.

"Yeah, you too."

She hesitated for a moment, and then shook her head, smiling. "So, when you are crazy famous…" she started, Toby rolled his eyes but kept quiet, "I'll tell everyone who asks on interviews that you and I met at the beach at 1am, and that you like coffee. I'll also tell them all about how you invited me for coffee tomorrow and I said yes." She winked and Toby smiled, getting along with her plan. "At 5pm." She added.

Then, he smirked. "And when they ask your name, you'll say…" he trailed off.

She giggled, "Spencer Hastings."

There it was. He "earned" her name. Toby's smirk turned into a half-smile. "Spencer." He tried out.

She grinned at him. "I got to go now, but I'll see you tomorrow at the cafe at 5pm." She winked. He nodded, chuckling at her antics.

Who _was _this girl? _How _was she even real?

Spencer stood on her toes and kissed his cheek, both blushing as she parted away. With one last smile, she turned away.

Toby watched as she turned around the corner with a small smile, feeling his heart speed faster as he thought about her.

That was when it all began.

iv. He may or may not be at the cafe 30 minutes early, and he may or may not be nervous as hell.

He doesn't know why he's nervous, he's already spent an entire day with her, but now it feels different. He knows it's a date.

He knows her name.

He spent the last night thinking over all the things that could possibly go wrong today, but decided to just stop worrying so much and just let it roll.

As he paces around in front of the cafe, he fails to notice the approaching figure of the girl he's been nervous to meet.

"Toby?" She calls, softly. He stops his pacing and looks up, finally meeting his blue orbs with her brown ones.

"Hey." He greets, a small smile and the comfort he's been growing used to appearing, making him forget all about his worries.

"Why do I feel like we're here at the same time for the same reason?" She asks, smiling at him and offering him her hand. He grabs it and they walk inside. Her hand feels small and cold against his, but he guesses it's just the weather (even though it's hot outside, he doesn't know if she was with the air conditioner turned on inside her car, so he just ignores it). His hands feel warm and strong against hers, and she feels safe. There's a spark going in between their enlaced hands, and she lets out a small sigh. He seems to share the sentiment.

It feels right.

After that, everything flows easily between them. They talk about everything and anything, and then she smiles at him. "Is there a secret about Toby Cavanaugh that I should know about?" She winks. He laughs and shakes his head.

"No, my life is pretty much an open book. I never really cared enough to keep secrets from people." He shrugs. "You?"

She shakes her head, her smile faltering a bit. "No. But there is something I really want to do." She winks at him.

Toby looks at her curiously, an eyebrow arching. "What is that?"

The answer he gets is a warm blush and a bashful smile. He looks at her, trying to read her thoughts. She looks down and giggles. He wonders what it is about this girl that pulls him in so much. She enchants him like no one else has ever been able to. "You're not gonna tell me?"

She shakes her head and changes the topic of conversation.

He finds out what she wanted to do a few hours later.

They're standing outside the cafe, staring at anything but each other, still too ashamed of doing the first move but not wanting to say goodbye either. He hears her sigh quietly and looks at her curiously, wondering what was going on in that mind of hers.

He finds out when she stands in her tippy toes and kisses him. It's not an aggressive kiss, it's a warm, gentle one. He doesn't even think before kissing her back, their lips molding together like they were meant for each other. Her hands grip the front of his coat and his enlace her waist. He feels butterflies on his stomach and as girly as that sounds, he doesn't want to let go. She sighs against his mouth and they part ways when oxygen is something they need.

She blushes and looks down at his shirt, relaxing her hands. "That's what I wanted to do."

He nods, still unable to form a sentence.

"I really need to get going now." She whispers to him, her eyes meeting his. He nods, but still doesn't let her go. She smiles a bit, and kisses him one, two, three more times. "I'm serious." She chuckles.

He smiles and lets her go, holding her hands and kissing them before letting them go also. She giggles and blushes.

"I'll call you… Or you'll call me?" she asks, nervously.

"I'll call you." He answers, his voice soft and gentle. She gives him her phone and he hands her his, and they each save their own numbers on before returning it.

"Do you need a ride home?" He asks, not wanting to say goodbye. She seems to understand, because she smiles at him with a disappointed smile.

"Not really. I brought my car today." She replies. He nods in understanding.

Before he could say anything else, she reaches up and kisses him one more time, before offering him one last grin and parting away.

"Bye." She waves, turning around and leaving him there, staring at her as she made her way to her car. As she reaches the silver mobile, she stops by the driver's door and looks back, finding him on the same spot she's left him. She waves one last time before entering the car and leaving.

Later that night, as he was lying on the bed replaying his day over and over and over and over again, his phone beeped beside him. As he grabbed it and looked at the caller ID, it read Spencer Hastings.

"_Is it weird that I miss you?" _she said as soon as he answered the phone.

He smiles and tells her he misses her too.

v. It's been a while since they started dating, and he thinks life is going great. He's learned a lot about her over the last few months they've been going out. She's incredibly smart, she's well rounded with words and really funny. Every day seemed to be brighter and happier with her in it. He's no longer drinking, he feels happy and complete. She's always cheering him up and he wonders if she feels the same way about him. He thinks she does.

His friends started noticing the way she changed him, too. They are happy for him. He tells them about her all the time, and they are curious about her. But he doesn't want to introduce them yet, because he's selfish and he wants to keep Spencer to himself. But he knows it's only a matter of time before they start pushing it. By now, they're just happy that Toby finally found someone.  
His parents know that he's seeing someone. His father doesn't let it show, but he's happy that his son finally found someone. And his mom is always telling Toby about how much she wishes he could just end this secret and introduce the girl already. Jenna asks about Spencer all the time, and he knows that the little girl is excited about meeting her potential sister-in-law.

But of course, life always has a little surprise for him. And sometimes, they're not happy surprises.

"Tobs?" He hears Spencer calling softly for his name. He's lying sideways on the bed, his sheets covering their naked bodies. He hums. "Are you awake?"

He nods, turning to her in concern. He can sense it by her tone that it's not something good. As he meets her eyes, he sees that fear has replaced the usual sparkle in them. "What's up?" he asks, sitting up. She sits up too, pulling the sheet up to cover her naked torso. She looks down and sighs.

"I need to tell you something…" She trails off, her voice cracking. She bites her lip and avoids his eyes. He feels his heart beating faster. "I… I lied to you that day at the cafe. When you asked me if I was hiding something, do you remember that?" When he nods, she sighs again, and he sees the dreading tears falling freely down her face. "I lied."

"What did you lie about?"

He honestly didn't know what to think. His mind was just blank. He couldn't think of one single thing she could have lied about. She was always open and honest, and he seriously thought he knew her in and out, even with just a few months of knowing each other. His mind is worried, his chest is heavy and he doesn't know what to think. He just wishes she would meet his eyes. Apparently, she felt the same need too, because her troubled eyes met his worried blue ones and he saw a single tear falling down her pale, beautiful face.

"I'm sick, Toby."

He stares at her, trying to understand. He understands that it's something serious, something inside him warns him to be prepared for the worst, but a bigger side of him is hopeful that it was just something that sounded worse than it appeared to be. "You're sick? What is it? The flu? Do you have a cold? I can take you to the hospital-" He starts, making a move to stand up, but she grabs his hands.

"No, Toby." She interrupts him, a serious look gracing her usually bright face. "I'm sick. I have a heart deficiency." She tells him, and he just stares at her.

Two minutes passes by before he finally says something. "What does that mean?"

She gives him a sad smile. He knows what that meant, but he doesn't want to believe her.

"No." He says, fighting back the tears. "_No._ You're gonna be okay, aren't you? There's a cure, right? You're gonna be okay."

She sighs. He shakes his head. "I… I don't know. I'm on medication, that's why I feel fine most of the time, but… I can feel myself getting weaker as the time passes, Toby. The only cure I have is…" She stops.

"What? What is the cure?" He asks, close to a panic attack. He knows that he's terrified, and that's the only thing he's sure now.

"A donor heart." She finally answers.

He feels like she just kicked him. He stares at her, trying to understand. "You're getting one, right? You're gonna be fine. You're getting one, aren't you, Spence?"

His eyes are wide, and she sees the tears threatening to fall. But he's trying to be strong for both of them, and she loves him for that. She gives him a small smile and sighs, "I'm on the waiting list, but I'm not so sure anymore."

He's numb.

"What does that mean?" He asks, finally.

He already knows the answer before she even opens her mouth.

She's dying.

She can see the realization downing onto him, so she just holds his hand tighter. The tug she gave him on the hand wakes him up, and the next thing he knows, he's out of his bed and dressing himself as quickly as he can, his breathing faster and heavier as the seconds passed. He felt like he had run a marathon. He needs an out, he needs _air. _But most of all, he needs _her. _So that's why, as soon as she pleaded him to not leave her alone, he changed his mind. Instead, he left the room and paced his living room, not knowing what to do now.

He breathed in and out, trying to steady his heart and his lungs. He felt the tears burning up but he refused to let them fall. He wouldn't cry. He would be strong for her.

Why the fuck was that so hard to do, though?

"Toby?"

He gasped as he felt her small hand on his back. He hates that he still feels that pull, he hates that he feels comfortable, he hates that he loves her so much. He just hates it.

He turns around, and when he sees her, when he sees the way she just looks so fragile and so small, he pulls her into a tight embrace. He just needs her. So he holds her close, and he feels the tears falling down her face, soaking his shirt.

But he won't cry.

"How long?" He whispers after a few minutes.

"What do you mean?" She asks, but she knows what he meant. She knows exactly what he's asking.

_How long do you have left?_

The look in her eyes tells him everything, and he doesn't know what to do. Suddenly, all those memories come back in a flash before his eyes.

_"I'm actually really into arts. I might major in something of the sort next year in college, but I'm not sure on what I want to major in. I'm thinking visual arts. I really like writing scripts and things of the sort." _

_"I'm excited to start college."_

_"So, if you end up successful and I do too, and let's say, you and I get slightly famous and someone asks me about you, I'll tell them I met you at a beach in the middle of the night"_

_ "I'll be proud of you!"_

_"When we have a real baby… What would it look like? I'm actually picturing a new-born with a six-pack as I speak."_

_"I can't wait until you release your first single, and when I'm in a store or something and the song starts playing, I'll be like: Hey, I know who sings this song! It's my boyfriend, Toby!"_

He remembers everything. He remembers all the things she said about the future. He remembers the sparkle in her eyes, he remembers her smile. He remembers being pulled into this perfect picture for their future. A picture _she _pulled him into. He lets out a bitter laugh. "So, wait. You've said all those things about our future, about _your _future, made me believe we'd be together forever, and you didn't even know if you'd be _alive_?!"

She looks down, tears falling down her face as she shakes her head, "What was I supposed to say?"

"That you are fucking _dying_!" he shouts, the tears finally falling down his face now. "Why did you lie?"

"Would that have changed anything?" She shouts back, the tears falling, "Would you just have turned away and headed home? Would you not want to get involved with a sick person?"

He shakes his head, he knows that he would have fallen for her either way. "You know I wouldn't. You're sick, and that's awful. But you know that you should've told me. I should've known before. But you lied, you didn't even bat an eyelash! You think that's okay?"

She shakes her head, "No, I don't. I should have told you, I'm sorry. I'm really, truly sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I was just… I was afraid." She sighed, the tears making her eyes swollen. He doesn't like seeing her cry. He wants the sparkle in her eyes back, he wants her smile back. "I was afraid of losing you."

He looked at her. _Really _looked at her. "Why are you telling me this now?"

She gulped. Her swollen brown eyes locked with his blue, teary ones. "I wanted to tell you this for a long time, but I never got the guts to just come out and say it. But you're too important to me, Toby. And I may scare you away and I may make you hate me so much for telling you this now, but… I love you."

That was it. That was the last straw. His body began to shake with sobs, tears ran down his cheeks more freely, and Spencer was by him in a blink of an eye. He clung to her tightly, not wanting to ever let go of her. And there she was, holding him comforting him, even though it should've been the other way around.

After all, he wasn't the one dying. She was.

vi. He stared noticing all the things he didn't before after that night and he couldn't believe that he never noticed them before. She was always with some discomfort on her neck, shoulder or back. She was always out of breath, but with the medicine she took, she could handle it (but now that her medicine was wearing down… it became more usual for her to be out of breath quickly, so the walks at the beach were shortened gradually until they stopped all at once). She was sometimes nauseous, and only after he knew about her problem she started telling him what she was feeling. She sweats more often than the usual, but he never really stopped and considered that before. She had unusual fatigue, always tired now that her medicine had stopped fixing her problems. That's just to name a few things.

"She's dying."

His eyes are empty as he looks out the window of the cafe, _their _cafe. He didn't dare to look and the brunette sitting across from him. He didn't want to see the pity in her eyes. He couldn't. They sat in silence for another few minutes and Toby wondered what Spencer was up to now. He wondered if she was watching the rain over the window of his loft, or if she was outside walking in the rain like he knows he likes to do. He hoped not. She could get sick and then it'd end so much faster.

"What do you mean?" he hears his friend asking softly. He sighs and looks at her. He sees confusion in her brown eyes, and he fights the urge to cry. So he tells Emily everything. He tells her what Spencer told him, he tells her what's wrong with the girl, and he tells her his hopes. He didn't look at her once, but he knew she was listening.

After a few minutes in which she just stared outside at the rain and played with her bracelet, she finally asks. "And she's getting worse?"

He nods. The rain was getting heavier, and Toby wished he could be with her right now. He wished he could hug her and kiss her. But he can't, because he's here and she's there, and right now he can't bring himself to stand up, not when he's finally told someone what he's feeling inside. There is silence in their table, the only noises are from the mumbling of the other clients and the clattery of dishes. And Emily, the usual happy and cheery brunette stayed quiet.

"It's your birthday next week." She says softly after a while. He looks at her finally and sees that she's dull, sad, a frown pulled upon her usually smiling face. "I think it's time that we meet her.

"Yeah." He nods, "I think so too."

vii. Everyone loves her.

It's no surprise, really. She's amazing and everyone loves her. Hanna tells her she likes Spencer's shoes, and Spencer tells her she likes Hanna's dress. Aria and her talk about books, and Emily talks to her about Toby. They share funny stories of the guy and smile. Caleb treats her like a friend would, and she laughs at Ezra's lame jokes.

He watched her smile and laugh and for a moment it was all back to normal, as if that night had never happened. She was there, and she was carefree and healthy. She was happy. And he was happy too.

He kisses her and hugs her, and nothing else matters. He pretends he doesn't notice when his friends look at them with sad smiles. It doesn't matter anymore.

She kisses his cheek and he smiles at her.

He feels okay.

viii. "I have something to confess."

He looks at her in curiosity, and feels her hand squeeze his gently, as if to assure it's nothing bad. He relaxes and hums to her, implying her to go on.

"When I said that you had to earn my name, I was so scared you were just going to walk away from me." She admits softly, "I was scared I had ruined everything by the incredulous look on your face. I never thought you'd go along with it."

He chuckles and offers her a small smile, "I never thought I'd go along with it neither."

She shifted beside him on the blanket they were laying down over the sand of the beach they had first met. She propped herself up on her right arm to look at him properly. "I'm so glad you did."

He gave her a small grin, "I'm glad I did too."

She leaned down and kissed him, eagerly and stronger than ever before. He wasn't complaining, but again, this was a sign. A sign that he should have taken seriously. Her tongue slipped into his mouth and he moaned and tangled his hand in her hair to pull her even closer. They spent a long time on the beach that night, kissing each other, cuddling, talking and whispering to each other. For a while they were even completely silent with only the waves crashing and Spencer's heartbeat steadily beating against his ear.

He loved listening to her heart.

After she started getting cold, they made their way holding hands back to Spencer's car. They drove in comfortable silence, with the radio softly playing on the background. He closed his eyes and relaxing. He only opened them again when he heard the engine being cut off and the car came to a stop. He frowned when he saw his building in front of them. "Oh, I thought we were staying at your place tonight?"

"Uh, I'm dropping you off, actually." Spencer said nervously, refusing to meet his eyes. She shot him a smile after a long minute. "I have a meeting with my parents early in the morning, and I wouldn't want to wake you up. I know you have a gig tomorrow night and you should get some rest."

"Oh, sure. That's okay." He smiled at her. Something inside him told him he should have said it wasn't. He should have argued and told her it wasn't a problem, that he wanted her to be with him. He should have seen the fucking _sign. _But he didn't. She smiled and nodded. She grabbed the necklace he had given her a while back and played with the strings for a bit, before letting the little heart hanging from it down on her chest again. She unbuckled her seatbelt and he copied her, staring at her confusedly. She was acting strange.

Her hands grabbed his cheeks as she twisted her body to be closer to him, looking deep into his eyes and then running her eyes over his face. He knew now that she was trying to memorize it.

"You're so beautiful." She softly whispers, and pulls him into a kiss. "You're so talented, I'm so proud of you." She kisses him again this time longer and briefer. "I love you so much." Her lips crashed against his, kissing him so passionately that her fingers dug into his arms. It would've hurt him, but he didn't care. He didn't care about anything right now. He gasped as they broke apart, completely at loss of words. He didn't know what to say. "I love you," she repeated.

He looked into her eyes and saw that she needed reassurance. "I love you too."

It was all she wanted to hear. She smiled at him and kissed his cheek. He noticed this smile wasn't as bright, wasn't as shiny and wasn't as happy. He noticed her eyes weren't sparkling like they did so long ago, when they met. "Goodnight, Tobs."

"Goodnight…" He leaned over and placed one more peck on her lips, before turning and opening the car door and stepped a foot out. He turned back though. "Spencer-" but he stopped himself.

He shouldn't have. He should have trusted his instincts and he should've said something. He should have mentioned on her strange behavior. He should have just done _something. _But he didn't. Maybe if he did, things would've gone down differently. But he didn't. He shouldn't have let her go. He should have stopped her.

"Goodnight."

But he didn't.

ix. The next day, after countless calls not answered, dozens of texts ignored and a full gig gone by without any sign of her, he had had enough and shrugged on his jacket and left the bar he and his friends were, entering his car and driving straight to her building. He had her keys in hand as he made his way to her door, and as he opened the door, he could feel his heart dropping to his feet. He could feel his eyes burning. He snapped his hands to the left and to the right, but the apartment was empty. He tried closing his eyes and then opening them again, but the sight was still the same. There was nothing. Not a sign that she actually had lived there before.

He ran to her bedroom, desperate to something, _anything. _He found the bed they once laid on, the bed he once loved her on, spotless. Without a sheet, without a pillow, just empty. As her room. He caught sight of something lying on the undressed mattress and made his way towards it, realizing it was the necklace he had given her once upon a time. He opened the heart charm, and where there was a pic of them, Toby holding Spencer in his arms as they smiled at the camera, was now a small, folded white paper.

He opened it and found a note.

_To my own personal singer._

_I hope you won't forget me. Keep this and give it to someone who truly deserves you and your love._

_I hope you won't forget me that easily._

_I will always love you._

- _Spencer._

- _Ps. I'm keeping the picture, I hope you don't mind._

He didn't want to believe it. He couldn't. It had to be a cruel, mean joke. She couldn't be serious.

No.

_No._

But it wasn't. He knew it wasn't. The apartment was spotless. There wasn't anything there that proved she had ever lived there, only the single necklace with the note inside.

Her things were gone.

Her car was gone.

She was gone.

He tried looking for her everywhere, his friends tried helping him, they looked for her everywhere, they asked about her everywhere, but no one saw her.

Just like that, she was gone.

She left him, for good.

He doesn't know what to think, he doesn't know what to feel, and he doesn't know what to do.

He lost her. He doesn't know where she is, he doesn't know if she's okay, and he doesn't know if she thinks of him.

He knows he thinks of her.

x. It's been two years since that night. That night when he should have stopped her, that night when he should have made her stay. He still wonders what would've happened if he had. But that hurts, so he tries to avoid doing that.

He still keeps her necklace. It's inside a box in his closet. He doesn't dare to look at it, and he doesn't dare to read the note that is inside it.

He finds himself stumbling over the sand at the beach late at night, and he just sits there. He sits there and he thinks about her, because that's all he does. He just thinks about her, and how much he misses her. He wonders if she's okay. He wonders if she's still… no.

She's okay. Wherever she is, she's okay.

xi. _He knew a girl once, and she's the best memory he's ever had._


	2. Author's note

Hey there... Sorry but this isn't a new chapter haha.

Well, I've been blown away by the positive feedback I've gotten when I posted this one-shot. Thank you for all the sweet messages and nice reviews! That was amazing. I've loved writing that one-shot and I know it's not something I do very often, it's more dramatic than what I'm used to.

But some people have been asking me for a sequel and to clear some things up because the ending was vague. (That was my intention, by the way. I wanted you to wonder what might have happened, even if I know myself what exactly went down and what happened to Spencer and to Toby.)

So here I go, explaining this to you. If you want to keep that history as a one-shot and you don't want to know what happened and keep on wondering and creating the perfect ending for you, then I suggest you close this tab immediately. If you want to know exactly what happened, keep on reading.

First of all, Spencer left Toby that night because she didn't want to hurt him anymore. She realized that she was leading him on and she didn't want him to get stuck on her and when she left he'd stop living. So she left because that, for her, was the best way to do it. She didn't want to hurt him anymore than she already was. So it wasn't actually a selfish act like some of you said (I respect your opinion, I do). She was actually doing that for him.

Second, Spencer, unfortunately, has passed away. She didn't have any longer and she knew that, so that's why she decided that leaving was a better idea than staying there. So there's no sequel I can do, because then she'd be a ghost, and I don't swing that way haha.

Third, Spencer was a pretty happy person for someone who was dying. She was happy because she knew she had to make the best out of her short life. She had lived in that condition for a long time and obviously she has gone through phases, but Toby only knew her long enough to just know her happy, cheery, carefree phase, which sadly, was the last phase.

Fourth, about Toby's future... I don't know. I honestly didn't think of that. I like to think that he'd write songs about Spencer. Describe how he feels about everything in those slow, heartbreakingly beautiful songs. I would like to think he made a lot of success and that he feels like he made her proud. It's even more cool to think that he'd meet someone that reminded him of Spencer, wouldn't it? I would like him to have a happy ending.

I have nothing more to explain, so if you have any more questions about anything regarding to this fanfiction, please talk to me. I can't write anymore chapters because I really am done with this story. There's nothing more I want to add. But thank you for the love, I appreciate that!

'Til next time. xx


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